The Wedding – Part 2

I once commented to Evelyn about just wanting to look attractive, for a change. Being here I have let things slip a little shall I say which makes for a pretty scary sight. (There was a reason I wore makeup!) So the perfect time to dress up is a wedding.

Evelyn and I came home after work as we were to meet our colleagues at around 7 p.m. to go to the wedding. It was actually very pleasant getting dressed and trying, I said try I didn’t succeed, to make myself look attractive. Evelyn looked beautiful as always. So we spent over an hour getting ready which is a long time considering I normally roll out of bed, put some clothes on, try and tame the ‘fro and wait around for a couple of hours as I always seem to get up too early for work.

We head over to the office where all of the ladies are looking lovely, jump into the cars and head over to the wedding.

When we get there we are introduced to the lovely bride and ask what time the ceremony starts – which was 11 p.m. so we were there in plenty of time. We take some photos, nearly start a riot as everyone wants to get into the photos and we’re then herded to some tables and chairs for dinner. Dinner was delicious and it was a little bit like being in a quick fire round of eating – people come and go pilling up your leaf plate with all sorts of delicious treats, tarka dhal, matar paneer and pickle. So I eat this up and all is good with the world. Apart from when I look up. Now you wouldn’t think that eating with your fingers takes that much skill, but actually it’s more difficult than it looks. So when you haven’t quite perfected it (bits of rice stuck to face etc.) the last thing you wanted to see is a rather large group of people with cameras… all pointing your way and the thing that brought me the most joy, a video camera! I’m rather glad I won’t get to see any of the photos as the effort I went to will be quickly dashed away I feel.

We then stand up to go and wash our hands and then… we leave! We all pile back into the cars and off we go. Evelyn and I are a little perplexed but on asking our colleagues the wedding ceremony takes hours and there probably wouldn’t be room for us. It was very generous of Manoranjan to invite us to the wedding; bearing in mind they feed 800 to 1000 people at the weddings I can understand the need for a systematic approach! So we were fed delicious food, paid our respects and then left again in around about an hour. I actually think it’s the perfect way to attend a wedding.



The beautiful bride



Our generous host - Manoranjan

The tables after dinner had been served

The gorgeous Evelyn and Priya

Waving goodbye

Some of the lovely ladies at the wedding

The Wedding – Part 1

I have broken this blog down into two as it was rather long. This is part one – shopping!

On Monday the NEEDS staff were invited to the wedding of our colleagues daughter. As I commented to Evelyn, ‘apparently weddings in India are a must do, so we must do it!’

On hearing this exciting news Evelyn and I asked around  to get some advice on what we should wear. I was hankering after a sari but my colleagues warned me they are difficult to wear and I would more than likely fall over (I think they know me better than I give them credit for!) So we decided to go and buy some new suits or salwar kameez  for the wedding.

On Tuesday we went up to Tower Chowk Market (chowk means cross roads, it is not a mis-spelling) to go and buy our new suits and Evelyn had been told from one of the ladies in the office that there was a good shop called Miss India, however the details on the location of the shop were a little vague shall we say. So we arrive at the first shop not really knowing what we wanted but we thought we would have a look around and then ask around for the Miss India shop.

Indian suit shopping is, yet again, an experience.  As none of the suits are hanging up you have to have sales assistant with you in order to view anything, you are told to sit down (on hindsight sitting is required otherwise your brain would short out and you might get blood on their lovely suits when you hit the deck) whilst reams and reams of material are literally thrown at you with comments such as:  ‘this would look good’, ‘this colour will suit you mam’, ‘good material, 110% cotton!’. Which is great, apart from Evelyn and I have very different tastes in suits. I like dark coloured suits with a bit of bling and Evelyn likes light coloured suits which are very plain. Confusing for all concerned I think you’ll agree.

So Evelyn and I visited a great number of shops on the hunt for Miss India with the same process being repeated at each and every shop, and we must have viewed at least 20 different types of suits at each place, each one not being quite right.

We did eventually find Miss India and they only had candle light – at 9:00 p.m. so it was not much good at all us being there. We also got kicked out of the last shop at 9:30 when I had rejected everything they had thrown at me and was beginning to look nothing less than sulky and Evelyn was on the brink of buying something but needed more time to think about it.

Cut to two women sat in the back of a rickshaw looking slightly shell-shocked, dare I say it, a little bit dribbley. Both of our brains had given up the ghost and all of the materials had merged into one great lump of multi coloured, sequined, embroidered mass, in which your mind can’t sort out and you forget which ones you saw that you liked, where they were or even being 100% sure of the colour. The biggest joke of all is you thinking that perhaps the fluorescent pink with contrasting yellow trousers could indeed be the look you were going for.

As we had both returned home empty handed we went into the breach yet again, on Thursday, as the malaria tablets gave me a funny turn on Wednesday (well something did – the tablets are the easiest thing to blame). I had my heart set on the silk salwar kameez I had seen in red and pale gold, I ended up with purple and pale gold but hey its close enough. Evelyn settled on the one she had seen in the first shop we had visited on day one of the escapade.

We now have a suit each – hurrah! Now for the fitting… you take your precious suit to a tailor or the tailor comes to you and you specify what you would like to have done. So a bit stitched down the sides so it doesn’t look quite as sack like, the seams down the side extending and the arm holes increasing in my case. Easy enough, apart from the fact that they unpicked the sides rather than sewing them up, it was easily rectified. Evelyn needed about 2 foot from each side of the garment taken in and the arm holes reducing – great, jobs done in 30 minutes. Only the tailor took the arm hole reduction a little too far and she couldn’t even get into it. Again it was easily rectified with a zip, unfortunately it wasn’t going to be ready until… Saturday!

All in all the shopping trips must have taken 6 hours or so which in the grand scheme of wedding outfit shopping isn’t bad really. Now to attend the wedding…

The blog I wasn’t sure I was going to post, but did!

A good friend of mine said to me just before I left ‘enjoy your experiences’. What he and I did not realise at the time was that everything was/is going to be an experience it seems, even the mundane things such as going to the doctors. The reason I wasn’t sure if I was going to post this blog is because it is a little bit personal but I think for amusement factor alone this is worth putting up.

So having settled in OK to this great and good land something was bound to have a bit of a tizzy whilst I am out here and that thing was my period… as it stopped.  There is an obvious conclusion to all of this however it is impossible, unless it was immaculate, which again is highly doubtful. My brain playing the tricks it does nearly managed to convince me that the dream I had of being attacked wasn’t a dream, which was actually quite scary. So on the thirteenth morning of waking up in a grump and having spoken to my sister I finally decided to do something and go to a gynaecologist.

So off I pop to the doctor’s office and I am invited into the doctor’s room, with three other patients sat next to me, one on the examination table, the doctor and three helpers all in a room that is quite frankly not big enough to hold that many people in plus a desk, a cupboard and a sink. I am then asked what the problem is and I look around and I am wondering if I should try and articulate this in front of a room of people I don’t know when I realise no one can understand me anyway.  So I start going into the issue. The obvious conclusion was drawn upon to which I was adamant that was not the case; I just needed to be checked out if there were any problems.

She did try and protect my dignity a little by asking the other patients out of the room when it came to the examination as there is just a curtain between you and quite a few other people and the patients bustled out of the office. (Roll forward a few minutes) I then jumped off the table to find everyone back in the room whilst trying to pull my giant trousers up and she asks if I’m shy! ‘No it’s fine’ I said with a little smile, what I was actually thinking was ‘well it’s a bit bleedin’ late now they’re already back in here’. There is an explanation as to why they came back in, in the fact that the doctor said one minute to the other patients and they took it literally. I have found people don’t like to wait very long around here, so obviously they had bustled back in after ‘ek minute’. 

The next examination was strange to say the least, I was told to sit back on the table and one of the helpers approached me and started pulling up my tops. Strange I thought but I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, perhaps check my abdomen again, or listen to my heart. She then proceed to squeeze my nipples! It was quite frankly the last thing I expected to happen. I’m not sure what ‘I’m going to squeeze your nipples now’ is in Hindi but I was not given a warning shot that’s for sure.

So then to the great and good paperwork, this is India, there has to be paperwork. Question one on the paperwork was my name, the second is my husband’s name. Bearing in mind this was the third time I was asked I relented and made one up, actually it was the first name that came to mind. So I am now married and my imaginary husband has an amazing job according to me, well why not he doesn’t actually exist!

I am very pleased to confirm that the obvious isn’t so obvious and it’s probably due to a bit of stress/foreign climate/me being me, so all in all I am fine. Only in India can I go to the doctors, get my problem sorted, find a new guardian (she is lovely and offered me help whenever I need it here), get married and have my nipples squeezed for the bargain price of £0.83!

Wednesday

On Wednesday we had a public holiday, for Lord Shiva’s Wedding anniversary better known as Mahashivrati. My apologies that the photos aren't great (a photographer I am not) but here is my day in pictures...



Baidyanath Temple






Climbing up the temple to tie string - everyone used to be able to do this but it was decided it's a touch dangerous, don't know why!?



Lord Shiva




Tower Chowk Market



At the Stadium - crowd control with bamboo sticks and they do use them... with force!






Peope round here walk REALLY quickly! This photo was user error but I quite like it.




From my flat mate, Evelyn, the subject line in the email was 'totally blend in...' If you're struggling to find me I'm the one smiling :-)