Communications

It is true to say that communications can be a little challenging at times, my Hindi being atrocious doesn’t help the matter. Even my new flat mate’s is better than mine! I can honestly say that the words just don’t want to stay in my head; as soon as I’ve repeated them they’re gone again. I know two versions of OK – which I think you’ll agree is pretty useless and a couple of other bits.

Luckily my much better educated and obviously far more intelligent work colleagues speak much better English than I can imagine speaking Hindi. I have also been perfecting the English speak slowly and clearly technique, as we a notoriously bad at speaking other languages. I have noticed though that under a touch of stress or if things are going exactly to plan I starting speaking a little mockney and I have no idea why this happens, I suppose it’s a little better than my Bristol accent I sometime adopt, however neither are helpful when in the middle of a sentence you change accent and really confuse matters!

Below are a couple of conversations for cringe worthiness and hopefully a little giggle.

When shopping for toilet roll:

Me: Do you sell toilet paper? (To a man who only speaks Hindi) Him: Huh? Me: T-O-I-L-E-T –P-A-P-E-R. He calls a kid over who speaks a bit of English. Me (to kid): Toilet paper? Kid: Huh? Me: You know, loo roll (whilst gesturing a roll of paper) Kid: you want a blue roll of paper?

I gave up and went on my merry way with just my powered milk...

Let this be a lesson – when trying to explain a foreign concept (such a toilet paper in India) do not start introducing foreign words such as loo that they have never, ever heard of!

There was a sign on the board stating that all staff are invited to go to RTP (Rural Technology Park) for the flag ceremony

Me: ‘Ah is this for Republic Day?’

Young lady: ‘Yes it’s for the flag ceremony’,

Me:  ‘What’s that?’

Young lady: ‘A flag is a coloured cloth for the country – you know a flag’ (Whilst gesturing waving a flag)

Me:  ‘No I know what a flag is, what is the ceremony?’

Young lady: ‘For Republic Day’!