Kolkata baby, yeah!

Last week I returned from Kolkata following a four day workshop on baselining for one of the programmes NEEDS are running in alliance with other partners in India. It was tough going but there were some amazing people there which more than made up for it.

I arrived in Kolkata following a 5 hour train ride which was very very nearly on time, well 15 minutes late in Indian terms is practically early. Now don’t get me wrong I enjoy riding on trains but as the weather is getting warmer sitting in a rather large metal cage on plastic seats actually feel like you are being cooked alive. I also find it incredibly difficult to fall asleep in trains, planes and automobiles which is not much fun as you cannot spend hours in the land of nod. In actual fact the only time I came close to falling asleep a vendor walked past demonstrating the most annoying small plastic drum which is alarmingly loud. I managed to resist pulling the offending article out of his hands and throwing it out of the window…well he was a child after all.

So I arrive in Kolkata to a hotel which is amazing. Air conditioning, hot showers, a proper mattress, all you can eat buffets morning, noon and night… I was in heaven. They also had a GYM! So having researched beforehand I took my trainers and work out gear and headed to the super gym (their name not mine) I fling open the door to discover a tread mill, a flat exercise ball and some scales which told me I had gained an enormous amount of weight (I haven’t verified if they were lying or not, I couldn’t take it if they are correct) and air conditioning that did not work. Now sorry to sound a little scathing but that’s not so super in my book, but when in India… I tried out the treadmill without air conditioning in very humid heat. This adds up to looking and feeling like your head is about to explode in around 20 minutes or so, as my hair is also getting larger (not longer, just larger) it meant I looked like a tomato with an afro. I am quite impressed I didn’t get stuck in the door way when I was getting back to the room it is that big.

I also went out for a couple of nights which was lovely. I went to a mall and there I bought tooth floss, a foot file and fresh coffee. It can be said it is a strange shopping list but they are things that are in short supply in Deoghar. Some of us also went out for a meal on Saturday night. You don’t realise how much you miss things sometimes but getting together and going out for a meal with friends is really very nice and the opportunity to do so was appreciated.

The last morning at the hotel was, well an experience yet again. I went down for breakfast at 7:00 a.m. and the power went off when I was in the lift. One thing that is very good in Kolkata is electricity but on Sunday it had a little bit of a wobbly. So I rang the telephone and no one picked up, I rang it again and no one picked up and then I heard the other lift working and decided that I was definitely stuck. I was stuck between the third and fourth floor so I rang the alarm and was found by the nice maintenance men who opened the outer door for me to jump out. The smallest of the two men was very sweet and made a catching a motion but I asked him to move back as being twice the size of him and probably double the weight (if the dreaded super scales are correct)  I didn’t want to end my time in Kolkata by squashing a poor man to death.

So I finally made it down to breakfast to discover a rather loud tourist complaining… now the one thing you don’t want to hear when you’re drinking you white coffee is: ‘and I found a dead cockroach in the hot milk’. Yes the coffee is made with the hot milk. I like strong coffee but I’m not a massive fan of the crunchy stuff. Cockroaches are part of everyday life here – you see them all the time, all the same I don’t want to drink them.

The trip was ended with another 9 hour car journey. At the risk of sounded ungrateful someone saying car journey to me makes me twitch. I’m still too tall for almost all of the vehicles and it takes so long. Also my family especially know I’m a nervous passenger so being on tender hooks for the whole 9 hours takes it out of you. My fellow passengers get pretty annoyed by the strange sounds I’m emitting and my hands flying up to my eyes every couple of minutes.

I am now back in Deoghar and I have received a large welcoming committee of mosquitos. Oh how I did not miss them.