Delhi Darling

Last week I returned once again to Delhi for a week. I must admit I was not particularly keen on returning to Delhi as I had decided I really did not like it very much from my previous visit, however I was pleasantly surprised by the city. It was good to return to dispel my incorrect thoughts about the place, sure it is noisy and polluted and busy however that is pretty much India all over. I came to realise it wasn’t Delhi I hated, it was the feelings I associated with it… blind panic and wondering what the hell I had done come to mind. As Delhi was the first place I landed in in India I don’t think I properly took into account just how panic struck I was and I had associated that with Delhi. I am pleased to report I have managed to dispel those thoughts and it was rewarding going back there after nearly a year in India.

I was in Delhi for the 30^th Birthday of my friend Katie and her friends were had come over from the UK and they had brought WINE! It tasted pretty good after nearly a year’s abstinence from it that is for sure. So I asked where we would be going and Katie’s response was… a karaoke bar. Call me an old bag but my first thought was ‘oh god no’ but the wine helped in thinking actually it was a bloody good idea and off we went.

I have come to realise that there are many differences between the UK and India but one of the most startling I can reveal is that… the karaoke was good! Now yes I did have my beer ears* on at the time but seriously I genuinely thought the whole point of karaoke was that it was bad. Stood with a white knuckle grip onto a microphone screeching away tunelessly whilst your friends roll around in mirth at the death of your dignity, that to me is karaoke. I can remember renditions of Silent Whisper in our local pub that was actually painful, now I think about it that is a really sad story of a misspent youth, at least other people get good at pool or something I just subjected my ears to pain. I can assure you I did not sing, I just drank a lot instead and had lots of fun.

The other thing about birthdays in India is an apparent tradition to have cake smeared on your face or ‘to be caked’. I came to realise that Evelyn and I had gotten off lightly when we had some frosting delicately smeared on our face, however when Katie came into the office she had the full cake smushing** into her face experience and it was chocolate cake! (Damn waste in my opinion) She was very good about it though and even posed for photos.

I sadly managed to get a not terribly nice auto driver whilst I was there who demanded on holding my hand and then kissed it, no not a dry kiss I mean a ‘oh look you seem to have dribbled all over my hand’ type of kiss. ‘What’s the harm?’ you ask. Well a) someone looking at you in the back of their vehicle whilst they are driving is slightly disconcerting and b) any physical contact is frowned upon, so I ended up holding my hands up next to my ears so he could not grab them! He also asked me my marital status… again totally out of order. So I lied. Not only has India seen me married I am now a serial fictional bigamist. I can honestly say that I was very grateful when we saw some police and he started laughing nervously as I did have a sinking ‘this could go a little bit wrong’ type of feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Apart from one unpleasant auto driver though, I had an amazing week. I thoroughly enjoyed the work I was doing, having some semblance of a social life was refreshing and very welcome and the junk food was sublime!

* Beer ears - similar to beer goggles but involves the hearing sense. Side effects include: thinking you sound really funny/witty, thinking that ridiculous idea is the best idea you have heard in a long time and you must do it immediately even if you can't stand up properly and thinking the person talking to you is a genius when in fact, they are not.

** I couldn’t think of an appropriate word as it is not as hard as being smashed in the face with cake more of a splat and rub type of action so I thought smushing was good descriptor word which I made up.